What a woman needs

...aside from a shrunken waistline-are these:

1. A great pair of sunglasses
2. A great pair of shoes that fits the season
3. A great bra that keeps the girls in line.

How many of these do I have?

erm... One. Sigh.

here we go again

I am starting and stopping dieting too much. I need to focus and try and make it work right. I have not lost anything since I last posted, and have no one to blame but myself.

I am going to do this!!

Okay yall

This is pitiful. My sister came to visit and in one week I GAINED weight just from eating dinners with her. She is a bad influence! but good news is, the warm weather has hit and I am getting back on my walking routine and will go to the grocery and get some raw foods and be on my whole foods diet again.

It is ever so much easier to follow this diet when it is summer! There are way more selections to choose from and I am going to get going with it.

I don't think I am going to cut coffee out though. Not like the last time. That was really impossible.

Monday Monday

I am going to do this. I am going to do this.I am going to do this.I am going to do this.I am going to do this.I am going to do this.I am going to do this.I am going to do this.I am going to do this.I am going to do this.

I have failed at getting under 160 and I am mad! I will lost this two-ish lbs this week!!!

I'm Starting to Like What I Feel

Drum roll, please!! 17 pounds in 38 days!! I'm totally pumped.

The thing about habits taking 21 days to take hold must be true because interestingly enough, after 38 days, I don't think about this diet as a diet any more. I know what I can and can't eat and how much I can have. Sometimes I follow the menu plan, other times I go with the flow, but I keep with the program. The best part is, I'm not even tempted to get off it—in fact, I cringe at some of the hit fat foods I used to love—good-by McDonalds.

Now this doesn't mean I don't sneak a bite of the occasional chip or cookie (our office couldn't survive without someone bringing in something to eat), or a slice or two of pizza. Okay, so last night I had three, but 1) I don’t gorge myself, and 2) I don't panic or feel defeated by these little detours.

For me, the big difference this time around has been the reason for losing weight. I’d hit rock bottom on the health meter. I was tired of feeling sluggish and out of breath, my joints hurt all the time and I knew I had to do something. I could clearly see myself headed straight into the emergency room with some life-threatening and irreversible condition that I’d pay for, for the rest of my life because I couldn’t keep food out of my mouth.

One reason other diets failed for me was boredom with the limited kinds of foods I could eat. I mean, who can really make a life-long commitment to existing without carbs or protein--not me, to say nothing of what it does to your health.

Another reason that hindered my success at weight loss was my outlook. Weight alone isn’t a strong enough motivator for me. You know the old, “My face I don’t mind it, because I’m behind it” syndrome. Frankly, as long as I didn’t see or feel a threat to my life, there was no reason to deny myself of the foods I loved.

Then there were those moments of weakness. You ladies know what I'm talking about. You starve yourself (which I haven't, but ... ), and then suddenly a cupcake dances before your eyes and you go into a feeding frenzy. Guilt sets in and you think, "What the hell? I'll comfort myself with another one and another one. Hmm need to wash it down with some milk." Then you move on to that bag of taco chips and salsa that’s been daring you for the past few days. Before you know it, you're right back where you were weeks before.

First of all, and this goes back to my mind set now, I haven’t had the impulse to gorge, but the important thing for me has been to consider those little temptations (emphasis on “little”) as small rewards—a bite of this or that for having been good all week. The important thing is to stop at that one cookie or whatever other temptation is out there and then get right back on eating well.

The bottom line for me is that I’m 55, my husband and I will be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary this June, our children are in their early 20’s and I want to be there to watch them as they head on into their next several stages of life. I have wonderful plans for my life as I near retirement and damn it, I want to be there to make them happen. I CAN do this!!

Okay, this was a bit long-winded, but know that if I can do it, so can you!!!

Retaining water

I have forgotten to weigh in all week. K, that's only half-true. I have forgotten to weigh in on Sunday. On Monday, I didn't want to, and on Tuesday I knew why.

It's the doom of all womanhood to hold *retain* water. I think that has been my problem. I have been sort of bloated and rings have been tight.

Very happy when I finally broke down this AM to weigh, that it wasn't as devastating as I figured it would be. At least I am back to a manageable weight and can begin anew to attempt to get down below 160.

It's a good idea to set little goals. I have set that one. I hope to be down below 16o by Sunday's weigh in. Wish me luck!

Fabulous Friday

In case anyone out there wants to know, stress will kill you. It will also kill your diet. I mean come on, diet has the word DIE in it, right?

So here I was minding my own business when my eldest brother decides to turn up with a terrible malady (brain tumor) -- which of course, sounds pretty awful, and it is, only he is doing pretty good considering. I guess I am different from most folks, because I starve myself when I am stressed, so when I got on the scales and had lost all that weight I had gained, I was mildly surprised and minisculely elated. Wish it had come without such a heavy price.

I will keep you posted. As of this writing, he is going home to see a doc about the strength of his heart and if he can stand brain surgery, and then we will go forth. Needless to say, I hope I don't get too hungry in the next 48 hours cuz I would love to weigh in on Sunday with a good old five lb loss or something equally as outrageous.

Hope you are doing well, Maxine dear.

Sometimes It's Good To Be Bad

So I was going along, minding my own business and grazing on a bowl of leaf greens when my DH asks what’s for dinner. I tell him I’ll need to check my notes. And then he says, “Can we PLEAZZZZE have some spaghetti?” I look into those poor weepy eyes and know I’m doomed. Little did he know I was actually thinking of a big juicy hamburger. It was either that or eat my shoe because I was feeling a bit hungry myself.

I can always tell when my body is starting to get used to a certain weight and ready to drop more weight because I do start to feel a bit hungry. Now, I did a very bad thing though. I gave in. I made spaghetti and I didn’t serve myself a palm-size serving either.

I took one bite which I thoroughly enjoyed when the phone rang. It was our accountant needing to talk to me about our taxes. When he asked if I had time—that he had several questions, I thought of my spaghetti and wanted to cry.

By the time I hung up the phone, I was starved and ate it without thought or care. That night, I decided to skip the snack and the next day I got back on the diet saddle and got back on the road to thinville.

Yesterday, I weighed in at 239. I’d lost 14 pounds in three weeks in spite of my little detour.
So see? This makes the point I tried to share a few days ago. It’s okay to indulge once in a while as long as you satisfy your craving and then move on.

Friday!!

Yay! It's my favorite day of the week and I am taking a half day off work. Can it get better than that? Well, yes, if it wasn't raining, it would be perfect.

Okay so I am feeling bloated.

I have been working the receptionist position at my job all week because the girl who does it has been out with a bad tooth. Well, it started out as a bad tooth, then the dentist pulled it, so now it is a sore socket.

Anyway, I have been doing another job on top of the two I already do. Thanks to that, I haven't been able to do as much as I usually do, including walking, and believe it or not, going to the bathroom.

Now you may think that is funny. It isn't.

So anyway, keeping things pleasant, I am bloated. I cannot take laxatives, because I also have diverticulosis. This little disorder keeps me from eating popcorn too, which really bites because I LOOOOOOVE popcorn.

So. I got on the scales today. Just because. Well, and ... I am up. One lb. point two. That's almost a whole lb and a half!! OhMY G!!

And I am going to a big event this weekend. Just shoot me now.

E-e-e-k!

Gained two pounds. Okay, don't panic, don't panic!! Is this normal? I've followed the diet to the letter, started to do some walking yesterday (30 min walk outside), and I still gained two pounds? I know my scale is correct because it matched the weight I registered at the doctor's office a couple of weeks ago. Poo!

Okay, I'm not going to stuff my face in frustration. I'm not going to allow this little glitch to make me give up. My stomach has definitely gone down. So I'm going to concentrate on the revised energy I've gained, the fact that my legs and feet DON'T hurt any more, and how my clothes feel.

I keep telling myself it's not a diet, it's a change of life. Face it Maxine, you didn't get this way over night. Deep breath!

Okay ... all better--must have coffee!

Sunday Weigh IN

Lol. This has been an iffy week at best. I knew I wasn't being exactly "good" on my diet plan, but I wasn't totally bad either. I lost just under one pound. Well, on the one hand, it was a loss. On the other, I won't reach my goal acting like I don't have one.

This week, I resolve to lose TWO lbs. If I do that I will be under 160 which will be the first time I have done that since the 1980's. Wouldn't that be awesome???

I have begun getting up one half hour earlier and walking for ten, fifteen, or twenty minutes, depending on what I can do. Walking is making some interesting differences in my body shape.

For the first time last week, I could actually wear a blouse and it hung over my gargantuan buttocks without my tugging it down.

Now, THAT felt good!

Conclusion at Day 14

Today is the last day of my 14-day fast track meal plan. I started my day with a spinach, mushroom and one egg omelet, a slice of wheat toast with small amount of margarine and a cup of skim milk. Mighty tasty if I do say so myself.

So, what I have learned in these first 14 days?

1. That the fact that the word “die” is embedded in the word “diet” is a mere coincidence.
2. That changing my cooking/eating habits is as simple as desiring to improve.
3. That it isn’t going to be difficult to continue with this diet because it doesn’t feel like a diet. I haven’t felt hungry once.
4. Most of all, it’s not solely about losing weight (that will come), but it’s about how I feel inside. I'm not a diabetic, but I'm sure my sugar and I'll bet my blood pressure, and cholestoral have all made some remarkable improvements too. I haven't had a headache since I've started on this diet, no pulsing sounds in my ears either. I’m more energetic, my mind is SO clear of the clutter, I’m sleeping better, I don’t have (excuse me) gas and I’ve seem to have eliminated several of those pre-menopause symptoms I listed here last week.
5. And … YES! My slacks are feeling just a tad looser--very encouraging.

I’ll post my weekly weigh-in tomorrow. I can tell you right now, I didn’t lose as much as what I did in the first week, but I’m feeling so great I’d be nuts to give up now.

On to week three!

Stressors

You know, Em, as I mentioned to you yesterday, I had "one of those days" too.

I spent the morning working on a report and gathering up all the supporting documentation. Finally got that done and had to start filling out travel requisitions, registering for that conference in April, hotel, and finding a flight. I know hundreds do that sort of thing all the time, but I dont. Over 30 years at the place and I've never had to do that.

Like I said, on an anxiety scale from 1 to 10, I was definately a 16. To make matters worse, someone brought in Girl Scout Cookies--peanutbutter no less--my favoite. I stayed on track with the diet, but at around 4:30 I crack and bit into one of those wonderous round morsels of fat and sugar goo and boy, it was pure heaven.

On the bright side, I didn't snarf down the entire box. I mean, that's what I would have done few weeks ago. Instead, I had a taste and then I was "fine." LOL

So, this was day 12 of 14 on this fast track Diabetes Dtour Diet. I won't talk poundsd, just how I feel. My slacks are a bit looser, but the best news is that I have had no more headaches, my legs, feet, and ankles haven't hurt once, and over all, I think I have a bit more energy. Did I mention water? I'm drinking a lot more water than what I used to.

I was just reading through the section in this book that gives an overview of the goals for this 1400-calorie plan and thought you'd be interested.

Nutrition information for the fat-fighting 4 is in bold.

Nutrient Goals per meal:

• Calories: 300-350
• Protein: 15-25 grams
• Carbs: 30-40 grams
• Total fat: 10 grams
• Saturated fat: less than 3 grams
• Fiber: 5-10 grams
• Calcium: 300 Milligrams
• Vitamin D: 80 IU
• Omega-3s: Alpha-linolenic acid (ALA: 0.22 gram & EPA/DHA: 0.15 gram

Nutgrition Goals per snack:

• Calories: 150-200
• Protein: 5-10 grams
• Carbs: 10-30 grams
• Total fat: 5 grams
• Saturated fat: less than 2 grams
• Fiber: 5 grams
• Calcium: 200 Milligrams
• Vitamin D: 80 IU
• Omega-3s: Alpha-linolenic acid (ALA: 0.22 gram & EPA/DHA: 0.15 gram

To show you that I'm not going hungry, dinner on Day 13 is oven-fried chicken (just a light spray of canola oil spray) with a 3-green bean salad of 1/2 c. cooked green beans, 1/4 c. chickpeas, 1/4 c. red beans, xhoppws onions and light Italian dressing. And guess what?? Half a cup of light ice cream with chopped walnuts for a snack!! W-e-e-e-e! Can't wait!! :0

Tada! Tuesday

So... this week hasn't started off as badly as last week, and yet, I have done far worse with my diet. I felt so guilty, in fact, that I pulled out an exercise video this A.M. and worked out for about ten minutes or so. Now my legs feel like jelly and I am sure glad I have a fifteen minute walk planned.

Exercise is good for me... exercise is good for me...exercise is good for...exercise is goood....

Welcome to a new week

Do you count Sunday as the first day of your week? At my house we do. I always consider it the first day of the week and the day we can get things going again with a bright shiny new outlook.

After last week, I need a new one.

I lost five pounds last week. Pretty respectable! They say the average loss is 2-3 so I am happy. I have always been an average loser so I am not expecting great jumps downward. Steady as she goes, that's me.

This has been a lazy weekend. We haven't touched the house and we both slept a lot yesterday. I had to. I was up ALL night Friday night creating a great new webpage. Then I had it up and it looked so good. I took a one hour nap and got up and looked at it. It wasn't working right.

SIGH! all that lost sleep for nothing. I went and took a long nap with my DH later in the afternoon and never got back to it. Oh well, such is a lazy Saturday.

So, cheers to you Maxine! Keep up the good work, and I will check on you this week.

One Week Down & Feeling Mighty Good

I'm truly amazed. Although diet is a four-letter words, I'm encouraged about how good I feel after shedding those first ten pounds. When you're as heavy as I am, they're not visible to the naked eye, but that's okay. Getting rid of the weight is doing me a world of good mentally, not to mention the affect it's going to have on my health and that's what is keeping me going.

I'm really proud of myself too for not giving in to the bagels, cream cheese and chocolate milk a co-worker brought into the office yesterday. I love them, but I'm SO damn determined this time, I wasn't even tempted. Maybe watching the Winter Olympics has something to do with my incredible desire to get back in shape this time. Ha! All those sleek, firm bodies squeezed into (what is that material anyway?) those tight-fitting ski suits--hmmm. Ha! I'll be happy to get out of my tight-fitting jeans. Seriously, I hate the way I look and I have nightmeres of my daughter, a lovely 24 year old, to call us one of these days to say she's getting married and I don't want to look like a baby Orca dressed in gabardine. Other insentives include a 30-year anniversary coming up in June and several other public engagements that I'll be involved in later this year.

Ask anyone, I'm a control freak and proud of it, so why haven't I been able to to control my weight? I have no idea, but that's behind me. So, the big question is, did I cheat this week at all? Does eating two slices of mushroom and green pepper pizza last night count? Hmm. Over all, this week went well. I'm not an expert on dieting by any stretch of the imagination but the only way I'm going to stay on this is if I give myself the "okay" to stray once in a while. Fridays in our house is usually pizza night. So what may seem like cheating was a well-planned approach. My focus is to reduce my calories and fat intake by 1) food preparation, and 2) portion size. So this was my Friday intake.

Breakfast:

• a scrambled egg (cooked with cooking spray)
• one slice of whole wheat toast with a small amount of margerine
• a small glass of O.J.

Lunch:

• 1/3 cup or rice and 1 cup of pork/carrots/broccoli (left over from the low-cal stir-fry I fixed the night before)

Snack:

• a small banana

I'm not up to 8, 8-oz. glasses of water a day, but have been drinking at least five and that's an improvement too.

Today, I start to exercise. Hmm. I'll keep you posted.

Confessions of a rocky start

This week has not been conducive to dieting.

First, I have gotten slapped with several new bills that I wasn't counting on and now affording to get my taxes done is going to be a stretch. Well, I must do them must'nt I? So in March something is not getting paid.

Second, my job is absolutely nuts. I have never had so many people clammering for my attention at one time before. And screw ups? Let me tell you, we have reached an all time high.

Next, they have had ANOTHER lay off and one of the guys who has been there for twenty years was chopped. Good grief. I am not concerned about my job but the stress of losing others who are friends and colleagues is killing me.

So... I am being honest here. I have not done well with the diet this week. I am a stress eater. Whenever things in my small world go off color, I eat. I admit that is a terrible problem to have especially when you are overweight and diabetic, but there it is. Help me somebody.

Creamy Potatoe Soup

Last night I learned that I don't have to add cream and cheese to make one of my favorite soups creamy.

I peeled and cubed 4-5 medium size potatoes, one cup of carrots, chopped two stalks of celery and half an onion and placed them in a pot. Added 3 cups of water and just enough beef bouillon (I know, lots of sodium but you don't have to go overboard with it) to give it flavor.

Let it boil until the potatoes and carrots are tender--about 15-20 minutes. Place the vegetable mix in a food processor and blend until it's smooth. Place the vegetables back in the pot and add about a cup or so of low-fat or skim milk until you have the consistency you want.

I seasoned it with garlic powder and had a cup of soup with a large dark green salad; lettuce, spinach, onion, celery, tomatoes olive oil/vinegar dressing.

The 35 Symptoms of Menopause

I thought I was losing my mind. Turns out, I'm just getting old.

Aside from feeling like crap for a couple of weeks; aching, shortness of breath, headaches, etc., the following list is what actually led me to deciding that weight loss was now or never. When I mentioned to Auntie Em what I was feeling, she suggested I might be experiencing menopause. No big news there, I've been in pre-menopause for what seems like an eternity. What I didn't know was that there were so many other symptoms aside from the mood swings and hot flashes. I found these on a site called Project Aware. As luck or divine intervention would have it, my doctor's receptionist called the next day to remind me of my physical the following day. I took this list for my doctor to see what I'd been experiencing (see bolded items). I had already gotten back on a "silver" multiple vitamin plus 100 mg of B1, 2000 mcg of B12, and 50 mg of B6. To these he suggested I take 500 mg calcium, 2000 iu of vitamin D, and 1200 mg of Omega 3. He also suggested taking B complex.

The next obvious step was to get on a diet. So far so good.

1. Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling
2. Irregular heart beat
3. Irritability
4. Mood swings, sudden tears
5. Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)
6. Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles!!!!!
7. Loss of libido
8. Dry vagina
9. Crashing fatigue
10. Anxiety, feeling ill at ease
11. Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom
12. Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
13. Disturbing memory lapses
14. Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence
15. Itchy, crawly skin
16. Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons
17. Increased tension in muscles
18. Breast tenderness
19. Headache change: increase or decrease
20. Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea
21. Sudden bouts of bloat
22. Depression
23. Exacerbation of existing conditions
24. Increase in allergies
25. Weight gain
26. Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair
27. Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance
28. Changes in body odor
29. Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head
30. Tingling in the extremities
31. Gum problems, increased bleeding
32. Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor
33. Osteoporosis (after several years)
34. Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier
35. Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, 'whooshing,' buzzing etc.


Please go to Project Aware site for additional information about these symptoms.

Tuesday

So far so good. I have been getting up early and walking for twenty minutes around the living room. Yes, I have a treadmill, but it is upstairs, and there is nothing to entertain me whilst I am on it. I keep begging the DH to bring it down but so far it no dice.

I got a huge surprise when I tested my sugar yesterday before lunch. 105! whoo hoo! That's great.

Overall, the diet is a no brainer. I eat more carbs in the morning (yogurt, Kashi Go-Lean, berries) and fewer as the day wanes. I seem to have found a great combo to get going with this diet thing. I am pleased.

I am not pleased about the terrible backache I have began having. This started Sunday night and it is tres painful. The ache is from my back around my hips and down the front of my thighs. Feels terribly like nerve pain. Sort of worries me, but a dose of ibuprophen seems to keep the pain tolerable enough to work.

Have to keep an eye on this....

First Day At Work

... with the diet. Not bad, I didn't starve. I did feel a little light-headed in the afternoon though but eat my snack of a few crackers and string cheese and felt better.

I got some encouraging news this morning from my scale and that's incentive enough to keep going! ;0

Getting underway or weigh...

...depends on how you look at it.

I am already one half day into my new "plan" which isn't a plan at all, but rather a whole foods natural eating lifestyle. Nothing artificial, no sweetners, no caffeine, no table salt. (Kosher sea salt in moderation is okay) and lots of water and fresh air and sunshine, which I am happy to report we have a ton of today.

I am diabetic too, and so I have to watch everything I put into my mouth.

The problem with me is, I am putting food into my mouth far too often. I need to cut that little habit out.

So starting today, I woke with the chickens, and drank water. Then with my breakfast I had 32 oz more water with lemon. I ate two eggs over hard and sliced tomatoes for breakfast.

Blood sugar two hours later 130. Sigh. Okay this is going to take a day or so, but it will be okay.

For lunch, I had blueberries and organic vanilla yogurt and for a snack I had 1/4 cup of sesame seeds, raw and unsalted.

I am still hungry, yes I am. I admit this diet is truly torturous and probably not for everyone. Unfortunately, I am still recovering from a bout of bronchitis, which has me feeling pretty darn rotten. In fact, today I have almost felt as though I am relapsing. BUT! I am going to persevere. I have put a butternut squash in the oven to bake and for dinner I will have a bit of that and steamed veggies or salad.

I MISS MY COFFEE!!! No caffeine? What was I thinking?

So What's the Plan?

I should probably mention that I come from a long line of Italians—people who were making homemade pizzas and lasagna long before Chef Boyardee started marketing his canned wonders back in the 1920s. Home meant growing up in an environment where everything centered around the dinner table. Every dispute was settled and each achievement was celebrated with another serving of mom’s gnocchi’s.

I can still remember the aromas that drifted through the house from her kitchen—the smell of spices mingled with the aroma of freshly baked bread. That’s what I’ve come to know as “comfort food.” So comforting in fact, that I’ve carried them on my hips and thighs for the past 40 years. I’m especially annoying that that even though my sisters and I were all raised on mother’s cooking, they’ve remained slim and trim. What’s up with that?

Okay, so I’ve had a day to think about this and I’ve decided that for me, the best course of action will be to follow the Diabetic diet.
First, I’m going to (dramatically) reduce my portions. Then I’m going to dust off the treadmill and Bowflex that have served as clothes racks for too many years, and get on a daily schedule—I promise!

I shoved all my other cookbooks aside and pulled out two I purchased through Prevention Magazine. Of course, I bought these with the best of intensions a couple of years ago—the spines haven’t been cracked yet, but that’s all about to change.

The first book is titled: The Sugar Solution Cookbook by Ann Fittante, MS, RD and Julia Van Tine-Reichardt. The second book is titled: “The Diabetes Dtour Diet by B Narbafra Quinn, MS, RD, CDE, and editor of Prevention. My past failures have been due to diets that demanded I only eat certain foods. Eventually, I got board and let it slide the minute I got sidetracked with a better opportunity. No, I think the best approach to this will be common sense and using these books as guides will help to train me (again) in proper nutrition and appropriate portions. The goal is for the pounds to melt away while tricking my head into not thinking that I’m on a diet. After all, just because I’m dieting shouldn’t stop me from enjoying my favorite meals, I’ll simply have to find alternatives.

Tonight I’m planning to make lasagna, but wait! I’ll do the regular recipe for the family and a one-serving portion for me of roasted vegetable lasagna. Instead of the meat, it uses zucchini, bell peppers, mushrooms carrots and frozen spinach.

Sounds good to me!

Where Do I Start?

How about with every diet I've started and failed at.

Actually, I stayed with several of them for months. With one I lost 30 pounds, 25 with another. Both times I looked and felt great. Most of the other diets were nothing but frustrating.

The truth of the matter is, I have the will of a jelly fish when it comes to eating. I simply enjoy food. So the minute I got sidetracked from the diet (company, vacation, etc.) I’ve always found it hard to get back on track.

Another thing is that I always feel consumed by the process of dieting--measuring this, weighing that. I don't want to spend my entire day thinking about the next meal (even though I look as if I do). I would love to come home and not have to think about what to fix, having said this, I don't believe those high-priced diet plans; the ones that only allow you their prepared foods work. They may help people lose the weight, but what happens when they go back to eating “normal” food?

My mother was a diabetic for the last 45 years of her life. I grew up with the diabetic meal plan. I know and continue to cook (believe it or not) the way she did. However, being the otherwise healthy person that I am, I don’t watch my portions or my snacks. Heaven knows I wish I was the type of person who couldn’t eat when they were stressed. I’d be skinny as a rail. Not me, nothing takes my appetite away. Whether I'm happy, sad, stressed, content, angry, tired, excited ... it doesn’t matter, I eat.

The only thing I know to do is to make my story public and journal my diet and exercise successes here. Wish me luck.